Why…
This is what I dream about these days: One word that I would give anything to hear my son say: “Why“. We take for granted what that silly little word represents. Neurotypical kids start asking “Why” around their second or third birthday.
“Why is the sky blue, Daddy?”
“Why do you have to go to work every day, Mommy?”
“Why did Uncle George have to die?”
“Why” represents a grasp of the abstract. It represents curiosity; a hunger to learn and make sense of the world around us. It is the first step toward achieving whatever goal we set for ourselves. But more than that, it represents an opportunity for a parent to connect with their child, to allay their fears, to do what all parents dream of doing: mold and shape and nurture our greatest creation to a mature, healthy adult. My son has never spoken it.
I want so badly to explain to my son why the leaves fall from the trees in Autumn; why water turns to steam when it gets hot; why A.J. Burnett will never be a big-time pitcher for the Yankees. For now, I have to wait. But I’m OK with that. Just keep plugging away, buddy. Daddy has nothing but time.
My daughter has never said "Why" either. I know what you mean. I try to look for opportunities to explain things, even though she can't ask. And I always ask her things too, even though she mostly cannot answer. My older daughter, who is 7 almost 8, asked me once why I always talk to her like that and ask her questions, when I know she can't answer me. I said, "Because someday she will."
🙂
OK, Debbie. That one got me.
Thanks for sharing this 🙂
Debbie, that's what I tend to do too. My kid finally is gaining some verbal skills but it's mostly echolalia at the moment. I keep trying though and I keep talking to him as if everything were "normal" so to speak in hopes that someday, he will be able to do the same. 🙂
My son has never asked why either. I do as Debbie does tell stories and still ask questions I never get answers too.
Beautiful post…..Yes, it takes time….sometimes a really long time….but his "why" will spring forth from his mouth one day. So happy to have discovered your blog.
I have an adult friend with autism, he says why all the time. I never knew him as a child, but somehow I hope this fact can encourage you!
My son is currently working on "Why" questions with all his therapists and at school. Someday.