A Love Story – Breakthrough!

I’ll admit I’ve always hoped that Eric would “blend in” to the crowd; conform to publicly acceptable behaviors.  It’s taken me many, many years to be OK with his noises and quirky movements that are an extension of his communication abilities.

Last week in BJ’s…we both had a breakthrough.  As I was packing up the items I just finished scanning in the self check out lane, Eric began to belt out the song that was on the radio, Taylor Swift’s “Love Story.”   It’s one of my favorites –and I guess all those times I’ve blasted it in the car have sunk into his brain….because it all came pouring out with gusto.

Normally, I would be shush-ing him…but something clicked and I let him belt his heart out.  It was happiness.  It made ME happy.  If you’ve shopped in this warehouse store before, you know you have to stop at the exit and have them check your receipt.  As we were waiting in line, I quickly grabbed my phone to start recording.   (I should have really videotaped the people watching him.  They were staring with big confused smiles on their faces – it was priceless!)


I even encouraged him to sing louder!

I’m always fascinated by the various ‘pop’ songs that Eric takes a liking to… and I always try to read into the meaning – like maybe he is trying to tell me something when he asks me to put on a certain song….

For instance, he’s always loved the song “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield.  Eric would fondly call this song “Staring Reaching” song.   Such a perfect message that always reminds me about so many things on this journey with autism.   I mean, seriously, read these lyrics….

“I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
….
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can’t live that way”

And well, as I search for meaning in the lyrics of this Taylor Swift song— I’ve narrowed it down to this one simple line:

“I love you, and that’s all I really know.”

I hope Eric always knows, understands and feels how much I love him.

—–Mrs. Bacon