Each Ornament Has a Story….

This past weekend, we hauled all the Christmas decorations down from the attic.  To be honest, I dread doing it every year.  I wasn’t always like that- but somehow along the way, I’ve lost my Christmas magic.  Our daughter was so excited to do it, that we took advantage of the long holiday weekend and got it done.

Every year Eric gets more and more excited about Christmas.  He starts jumping around like crazy watching the tree and lights go up – and once the ornaments are almost finished, he puts the finishing touch in place; by unpacking and setting up our Little People Nativity set.  My job is to unpack the ornaments from my meticulously organized box (;-) ) and hand them strategically to each person for hanging.  (I give Eric all the ones that won’t break if they fall!)

There are a few ornaments that stir up a lot of emotions in me.  One in particular you see in the picture.  It looks ordinary enough…. but there is a story to go along with it.   Grandma and Pop Pop Bacon purchase beautiful keepsake ornaments every year for the kids and try to tie it into something that took place during the year- so for instance, Anna receive a diploma ornament this year since she had graduated from 8th grade; and we have a soccer ball ornament signifying the year Eric joined a buddy league.

But this ornament.  Mickey ears.  2005.  It says so much to me.

We went to Disney during the famous NJ teacher convention week in November that year.  We traveled with my sister and her family.  It was the first visit to Disney for both kids.  We were so excited!   The trip got off to a sad start because my Papa (grandfather) passed away and we all attended his funeral, so we had to delay vacation by one day.  But once we arrived at the hotel, we started creating our magical memories.
–swimming in the pool
–meals with the characters
–staying up way past kids bedtime for the light parade
….and the list goes on and on….

But the one thing I remember as my most precious memory of that trip is how a 16 month old Eric ran up and down hotel hallways, jumped on the bed, and chased his cousins and sister around with glee.  Eric loved his cousin Bryan’s buzz hair cut – and was continually trying to rub his head.  He was engaged; connected; all was right in the world.

Those memories will be seared in my mind forever.

Soon after we returned from that trip was when we really started seeing a difference in Eric; and could see him withdrawing from playing with other kids; losing language and becoming cranky and irritable all the time.  It wasn’t all peaches and cream up until that point – but it was nowhere near where we landed in the 2-3 years that followed.  I affectionately call those the “painful years.”   As I further dissect pictures- snapshots in time – I can see a distant glaze in Eric’s eyes that started around Halloween that year- -and there were glimmers of disconnectedness during the Disney trip too; but of course I didn’t notice that until several months later.

So while I try to remember to focus on the Reason for the Season, there are certain memories that still jab me pretty sharp.    Those years it was like trying to hold sand in your palm; you just can’t. He just started to slip away into his complicated, yet innocent little world.

I would love to go back in time and grasp a lot harder.
—————————————————————————Mrs. B