I Still Want More

Then// he spoke only a few words and grunted and pointed a lot to communicate.

Now // he has A TON of expressive language and is continuing to expand sentences and comprehension.

But I want more. I want to have a true conversation with him. I want to know what’s going on in his mind. I want him to tell me about his day at school. I want him to ask me questions. I want him to explain to me what he sees, fears, feels and experiences.

Then// after he began to regress he mostly kept to himself, laid on the floor and stared at toys and didn’t really want to interact much with others.

Now// he has quite the personality, demands attention of others, and developed a varied interest in toys, activities, games and places to visit.

But I want more. He demands and enjoys the attention of adults; but still does not have friends of his own. He of course has ‘friends’ at school in his class, and is ‘friends‘ with children we know through the family, but he has never expressed intrigue, interest or any desire to socialize with his peers. The closest he has come is to playing with his sister and her friends and even that has to be on his terms and timing.

Then// he was irritable frequently, was a runner who would dart away from us all the time, had a hard time at school, had a severely limited diet, wasn’t potty trained (and I wondered if he ever would be), tried a few extra curricular activities but none connected, didn’t understand the concept of time, scored extremely low on every standardized test he was given, and had very little ‘self-care‘ skills.

Now// he is happy most of the time, has improved with walking by us when out in public – and even will glance back a few times to make sure we are still there, is flourishing at school being surrounded by the right team of people who know what makes him tick! He continues to try and gain new foods; has great self-care hygiene skills, seems to really be enjoying karate, has a great understanding of time and days on the calendar, and although he still scores pretty low on standardized tests – his intelligence shows by the stack of 100’s he has gotten on spelling tests and other school work that he masters.

He has made an INCREDIBLE amount of progress over the last 10 years. He continues to grow, learn, mature and achieve every goal that we set for him.

But…I still want more. I now want to be able to look 10 more years into the future and see what lies ahead. Since I can’t, I will have to sit back and enjoy the ride and pray that we make the right decisions; push him just enough; give him a soft place to land when he is overwhelmed; and just be there to hold his hand when he needs it.

——Mrs. Bacon