Decisions…
I ask you to indulge me for a minute as I drift off topic briefly. I have to write about this because it affects me deeply and I’ve been hurting for a couple of days. I think by now most of you have come to know me as a kind, fair and gentle man just trying his best in this world. I think most of you also know that I am a police officer.
I want to tell you a story.
In May of 2008 I was on patrol with my K9 partner. A brother officer stopped a car for a minor infraction (expired inspection sticker). The driver of the car decided to speed away. The officer lost sight of the car and radioed its description to the other officers. I heard the description and made my way to the area. I picked a location in town that I thought might be used by the driver to escape from the area and I sat and waited. Five minutes later the car approached me, identified me as a cop, turned around and fled the other way at approximately 90 to 100 mph. It ran several red lights, caused a collision and eventually swerved off the roadway into the woods.
I was the first officer on the scene. I saw the suspect’s car smoking in the woods and the suspect running down the middle of the street. First, he tried to pull a motorcyclist off his bike and failed. Then, he tried to pull a woman out of her car, but she locked the door.
I sent my K9 partner to apprehend the suspect. He saw my dog running at him, stopped, prepared himself and punched my dog as he tried to apprehend him. My 90 lb. police dog tumbled 20 feet.
I was close behind my dog and I did what I was trained to do. I pulled my weapon, pointed it at the suspect and ordered him to surrender. In the movies… in training… the bad guy surrenders. This bad guy didn’t. I made a tactical mistake and got too close.
He looked me in the eyes. I will never forget his eyes: There was no anger. There was no panic. There was no emotion. He told me to “F*ck” myself, reached around my weapon pointed at his face, and punched me in the head. As I stumbled backward I was literally doing math equations in my head to decide if I was justified in pulling my trigger to defend myself as this man, who outweighed me by 20 to 30 lbs., closed in to land another blow, attempt to grab my gun and God only knows what next.
I was close. Very close. Nine pounds of pressure squeeze from my index finger and this man’s life would have ended. And to this day, I don’t know if I would have survived (legally) the aftermath.
He was unarmed (Except for the loaded 9mm pistol we found lying on the ground at the accident scene).
The original encounter was simply a minor motor vehicle infraction.
He happened to be African-American.
I’m a white police officer.
I didn’t pull the trigger. I didn’t have to, thank God. Instead, my guardian angel stepped in. He took the form of a brother officer who I will go to my death owing my life to. This brother officer (unfortunately for the bad guy) happened to be an ex-college football lineman and performed the most wonderful open field tackle on this “gentle giant” I have ever seen. Together, while this man continued to try to grab our weapons, we were able to control and handcuff him (with the help of my K9 partner who finally got his chance to taste his arm).
I ask you: If I had pulled the trigger and killed this “unarmed gentle giant” who was only running from the police over an expired inspection sticker (Except for the warrants for his arrest for armed robbery that we found later), would you have called me a “racist”? “a monster”? Would you protest and demand my head?
No. You took a calculated risk by not shooting him and won, but it could have gone the other way, too. But next time, you'll have to recalculate the risk of trying to keep everyone alive. I'm thankful you were able to go home that night.
If the officer in Ferguson and New York would have acted the same way you did we would not have these protest currently, we would have incarcerated the people instead of killing them. Also because this man had already endangered numerous others as well as hitting your dog you were more than justified to use force. This is not an apple to apples comparison of the two incidents currently in the media in my opinion. And no you would not have been deemed a racist just an officer doing his job.
What a scary situation! You would not have been a racist, but I am glad you don't have to face that kind of aftermath.
Unfortunately, to the people who shout the loudest (media, special interest groups, etc.) you automatically become a racist. The majority, including black Americans would not think you are racist. The problem is those who have agendas often create the most "noise" which is all that ends up mattering in circumstances like these. It's pretty much a no win situation for any officer or public servant.
The fact is you have one goal in a situation like that and that is to stay alive by any means necessary. You have every right to shoot this man and very well could have just been lucky to not have been killed yourself.
This is the problem with what is going on in regarding the Us VS Police mentality that is overtaking the US. There are bad apples in every bunch. I have met officers who I can't believe have badges but that is truly the minority. Most are looking to do good within their communities, make a comfortable living, support their family, and come home safe.
I don't have the solution, but as more and more officers second guess their instincts and get shot or killed, we are going to create an even greater divide between cops and the public. What do you think is the solution? Is it body cameras or something else?
You aren't a racist, but those who would scream at you are. After all, isn't their rage based on the color of your skin.