My Advice for the Autism Wife

1.  We are supposed to fix things.  Yes, it’s irrational.  But the road to accepting there are things we can’t fix is long and ugly and sometime endless.

2.  The sweetest words ever spoken to me by my wife:  “You are an amazing Dad.”

3.  The most painful words ever spoken to me: “It must be nice being a part-time Dad.”  (Years ago. I was being a complete ass and deserved it.  I’ve never told her these words completely changed my life).

4.  Anger is often a much more comfortable emotion to express than sadness.  That’s not an excuse, but please keep this in mind when we are being an ass. 

5.  Want to wound him?  Start a conversation with, “Why can’t you be more like {insert pretty boy romantic comedy actor here}?

6.  Want to drive a stake through your marriage?  Start a conversation with, “Why can’t you be more like {insert a real-life friend or coworker here}?

7.  Want to save a struggling marriage?  Simply acknowledge how hard he is trying. 

8.  When we are in our 20’s and fantasize about fatherhood, it usually involves teaching and passing on wisdom:  baseball, football, girls, politics.  Imagine how difficult it is to wonder if you will ever get that chance. 

9.  Even though we wonder constantly if we have any idea what we’re doing, hearing you wonder if we have any idea what we’re doing is knee-buckling. 

10.  We can’t fathom asking for driving directions.  Do you really think we are comfortable with asking for fatherhood advice?