Bitter Sweet Halloweens

When he was three he wanted no part of a costume and he wouldn’t leave the house.

When he was five he tolerated wearing a striped shirt and we called him a pirate, but he still threw a complete temper tantrum when we tried to leave the house.

When he was six he tolerated a cape and let us draw a circle around his eye.  We called him “The Count” and he let us pull him around the neighborhood for fifteen minutes in a wagon.  His big sister brought back extra candy from each door she knocked on.

When he was seven he wore jeans, a vest and a cowboy hat (for 10 minutes) and called himself “Woody”.  We joined our friends and trick-or-treated for 45 minutes.  He tried to run inside every house as they opened the door.   We pulled him out of more than one strange living room kicking and screaming.  We called it a win and went home exhausted.

When he was eight Halloween was canceled due to Hurricane Sandy.  He didn’t even notice.

When he was nine he demanded to be “Woody” again and we trick-or-treated with Grandma and Pop Pop.  He exclaimed “Trick-or-Treat” boldly at each door and said “thank you” when he received his candy.  He got upset when it started to rain and we had to go inside and he crashed from a sugar high on our living room floor.

When he was ten he vacillated between being a “Cowboy”, “The Count”, or a “Bumble-bee” and we endured serious negotiations over how much candy he could eat on Halloween night.

This year he’s fourteen.  He wants to be “The Count” again.  Some whisper that it’s not “age appropriate” to allow him to dress as Sesame Street character.  Others proclaim he’s too old for trick-or-treating all together.  “Age propriety” is silly to me.  He’s missed out on a lot of experiences as he has grown and matured at his own pace.  There are much bigger things to worry about.  My Count and I will be trick-or-treating until we get tired, cold, or full of candy.  Those who don’t understand are footnotes to our lives anyway.

It’s been a long haul.  We keep plugging away… because that’s what we do.
I know many of you are feeling that familiar pang of sadness and envy as another holiday approaches.  It’s a feeling only families like ours can truly understand.  I can’t make promises or guarantees that they will get better.  But I can offer our experience and progress to this point as a small light of hope that they can.

Happy Halloween!