My Advice For The Autism Husband

1.  Admit to her that you’re afraid.  You don’t have to pretend to be Superman.  She ain’t buying the act anyway.

2.  But be strong for her. 

3.  It’s OK to get angry and frustrated.  But don’t take it out on her. 

4.  You don’t need to have all the answers.  Sometimes she just wants you to listen.

5.  It’s OK to disagree.  But don’t invalidate her opinions.

6.  Sneak up behind her and kiss her on the cheek.  You’re welcome.

7.  Light a candle once in a while.  Again, you’re welcome. 

8.  Don’t keep score.  You will always lose.

9.  If you ever feel the urge to tell her, “That’s your job”, change the subject… quickly.

10.  It’s OK to disagree about your kids’ school and therapies, but NEVER at an IEP meeting.  You are a united front… always!

11.  Dance with her.  (I don’t get it either, but trust me).  (You’re welcome again)

12.  The only correct answer to the question, “Does this make me look fat?” is an unequivocal, “No.”  And it must leave your lips within 1.82 seconds. 

13.  There will be days when all you want to do is sit and watch a ball game.  Tough. 

14.  When she says, “leave the dirty pots in the sink, I’ll wash them when I get home,”  it’s a test.

15.  When she tells you she understands if you don’t want to join her and the kids when they visit her parents this weekend…  she’s lying.   

16.  Repeat after me, “Your hair looks pretty today.” 

17.  You don’t have to fix it all.  You can’t.  She knows it. 

18.  The only correct answer to the question “Do you think that girl is pretty?” is “Yeah, I guess so” (in a tone indicating you had never noticed before she pointed it out).

19.  Repeat after me again, “Let’s take a bath.” 

20.  Don’t curse.  It doesn’t impress her.

21.  Listen closely.  Those sniffles you hear in bed after the lights go off aren’t allergies.  Put your arm around her.