Inept and Inadequate

So I’ve been doing this blogging thing for a couple years now.  I am so appreciative to everyone who has taken the time to read my stuff.  And it has been humbling to hear that the things I have written  have helped a few people.  My proudest moments are when I am told that I inspire someone or give hope to someone who is having a down day, week or year.  It is literally the coolest thing I have ever experienced.

But here’s the thing…  (isn’t there always a thing?)

While I try to “keep it real” and present our crazy life unvarnished as the roller coaster it is, I seldom post when I am a complete ass to my wife and snap at her during a tense moment or bad day (which are pretty common recently).  I rarely mention the times I lose my patience with my son and have to lock myself in the bathroom to avoid yelling.  I infrequently describe how many times I fail at this parenting thing.  And I never make witty or clever memes that represent how many times my selfishness and self pity cause me to break down in tears.

The danger with this blogging thing is it doesn’t show the complete picture.  It is filtered.  “Acceptance”, “Healing”, “Finding your happy place”… whatever you want to call it… is not a destination.  It is a process… an imbalanced, often ugly process.  It doesn’t magically end and the trajectory is not a straight line.  It involves good days and horrible days.  You think you have it all figured out for a few weeks and you get cocky… then your little hero bites the teacher or smears poop on the walls and you come crashing down to Earth.  It affects all of us.  It cripples some of us.  The best of us shake it off a little quicker and keep moving forward.  The phonies among us never mention it.  And those of us who are searching in the wilderness for some sense of affirmation that we aren’t completely inept or inadequate often end up feeling worse than before we logged onto Facebook. 

So here’s to the inept and inadequate!  Our club is bigger than you think.  I’m thinking of running for President.