Please God, Help Me Freeze Time
Today I had a “mommy and me” day with my daughter. We went to the beach. It’s my happy place. It’s even happier when she is there with me 🙂 She has had such a busy summer that I have barely seen her. (Mental note: In next life, come back as my daughter!)…
We got to the beach super early and were able to just sit and soak in the sand, sea and sounds of seagulls. It was so peaceful. As expected, we were soon invaded by other beachgoers who practically set up camp on top of you, and while I still love being at the beach – it kind of ruins the “serenity” of the moment.
After I read a few chapters of my book, I gave up trying to tune out the conversations happening all around me – and gave in to eavesdropping on what was being said. I love doing that. It’s a little bit “stalker-ish” but it’s so entertaining – you should try it.
There was the sweet little grandma who set up camp for her granddaughter – -and promptly fell asleep. The little one kept trying to talk to her and wake her up – but it didn’t work and instead she decided to join in the crab -digging fun with a group of nearby boys…
There was an older couple that you could tell were “regulars” and were probably wondering what I was doing in “their” spot — ha ha they sat awfully close to me. But I got to hear about how the water she was drinking was so much more delicious because she added sliced lemon. And next she was going to try sliced oranges. And the husband doesn’t like cucumber water – and the wife’s friend recently cut two of her fingers making fruit water for her customers….and the husband happily dubbed that extra tasty “blood flavored” water…..and on and on it went….
Then I spotted a cute little family of four – a flashback of my own life from maybe 12 years ago….. A little girl about 5 years old and a little boy about 2. The mom and dad holding their children’s hands as they were entering the water. The dad lifting his son high above his head – and giggles coming from everywhere. Ugh — that hit me hard. Where has the time gone? How do I have an almost 17 year old and a 14 year old? Why can’t I just FREEZE time? I wanna go back in time for so many reasons.
And then my daughter snapped me back to reality by rambling off the names of a few different colleges she is hoping we can visit before the summer is over. My heart is not ready for this…. I was telling her that I saw a video posted recently of a Mom sobbing over the kitchen sink after dropping her child at college. THAT WILL BE ME! I sobbed tonight as I was driving her to gymnastics – and my daughter was like “oh no here she goes again”…. Next week she is turning 17 and won’t need me to drive her anymore – -and before I know it POOF — we will be driving her to college.
When she saw me on the beach getting emotional, she quickly said “you are lucky – you will never have an empty next. And having Eric is like having 5 kids so your house will always be full.” And while that is truly a silver lining – it also sent me down a different road in my mind.
Will I ever be able to be one of those happy retirees on the beach every day napping or talking about fruit water?
Will I be able to take my grandchildren to the beach?
Will I be able to travel to new places and experience life to it’s fullest doing everything I have hoped and prayed for?
I know only time will tell. But I’m in no hurry to get those answers…..so I hope we can slow down the clocks a little bit.
I did want to run down to the water and tell that little family to savor these days because the tomorrow’s of TEENAGERS would be here before they knew it.
—Mrs. B
#PassTheTissues
#FreezeTimePlease
