What is “it?”
I watch as “it” transforms your personality from giggly, to emotional, to distant, to loving all in a matter of hours.
It is painful to watch “it” make you flounce around your bed like a fish out of water as if you cannot get comfortable in your own skin.
I’m not sure why “it” makes you decide to jump out of bed just as I finally closed my eyes believing you finally fell asleep.
“It” seems to take over your body and takes your mind to another place.
As I lay next to you in bed, trying to help calm your body and mind, “it” makes you try to pinch me, push me, dig your toenails into me in an effort to make me leave.
I’ve noticed that when “it” happens, your mind gets more confused as you alternate from yelling to whispering even though the distance between us may not change.
Just know that I can hear you. I can also hear the words you cannot say.
“It” is something you cannot control.
But honestly, I’m not sure what “it” is? Is it autism? Is it anxiety? Is it pain? Is it fear? Someday I hope “it” will be known.
—- signed, a tired Mrs. B.
“Each sunrise brings a day filled with new hope…